When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
