Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
