I wanna passion pit in your ass
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
