she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
