going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
