Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You ate ashes out of my bong
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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