So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
