just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize