I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
