Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
