How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
