is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize