Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How external is "for external use only"?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
