This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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