I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
