Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
