But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
