i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
