I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
