I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
