So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize