He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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