You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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