I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
