im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
