I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
