I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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