kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
