Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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