Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
