Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize