question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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