Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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