if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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