Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
