how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize