I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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