it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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