Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
