I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
