hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
