a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
