Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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