I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You took a bar mat shot.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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