I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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