we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
