Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
