So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
