is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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