ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
