And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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