That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
