Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My liver just had a heart attack.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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