he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
