dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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