worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
