Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
