even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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