Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
