it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize