Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize